Laws of The Sexes

On June 30, 2014, the Robert's Court defined corporations as religious entities that could mandate healthcare for their female workers. They were joined in their suit by 71 other companies. None of the rhetoric in any of the briefs addressed men's reproductive rights. I have to ask,Why is that? I had biology a long time ago, but it included the information that an egg without a sperm to dance with was just an egg. I direct your attention to the meme above that reflects the preponderance of laws (not all of which passed) that have been generated in the Congresses of all states to regulate what women do with their bodies. UH, only women?  If we are trying to legislate reproduction, which China does on a national level, then why the absence of laws regarding those swimmers and their carriers?  Why is the focus of the law always,always on the female?

There have been numerous postulations in the media and in comments on both Right and Left sites on the interweb. Then there are the uber Christian Fundamentalist sites. (Heavy sigh.) The Hobby Lobby ruling appears to be an incredible wedge tool in that it is polarizing further the division between men and women in this country in regards to equitable treatment under the law.  I am not saying that all men refuse to acknowledge the right of women to be viewed and treated as equal under the law.  I am speaking to the men who truly, for whatever reason, do NOT see that this continued effort to legislate women's place in the world.  These are the men who do not support equal pay for equal work,who think that there is no reason to pay female executives like salaries (because CEO salaries are vastly different from non-CEO workers), who have fought against Title IX since its passage, who discount womens places in law and engineering. These are the men (and unfortunately some women) who are most vocal in calling "slut" and "whore" when an unplanned pregnancy occurs. These are the people who are so focused on the egg bearer that they cannot understand that life is what happens when you are making other plans. They discount their participation in this event, preferring to abrogate their joint responsibility (no,not a pun). This lack of clarity of responsibility just further continues the divide. Until they accept their responsibility, they will continue to craft laws penalizing women for their right to play in the same game.

Alienating either sex in the game of life is not going to end well.  Continuing to craft and pass TRAP laws just furthers the very real impression of disdain that these men evidently feel when considering their constituents. Legislating reproductive laws that only apply to women needs to be addressed in a nation wide dialogue. Women are not stupid.  We can read the writing on the wall.

Where Have All The Shoelaces Gone?

     OK, I admit that I have felt that civilization has declined since the advent of Velcro straps on shoes. It used to be a sign of achievement when kids finally learned the over, under and through the circle tying of their own shoes. Making "bunny ears" with the laces was a time consuming process of getting it just right, every time. And your choice of colors was white, black or brown...period.

     So, the other day I broke a shoelace. No big deal, right?  Oh, it has become a very big deal! What did Joni Mitchell sing about..."You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone." I am now hunting the elusive shoelace.

"I want a shoelace in gray....that fits a 7 hole shoe...with gray widgets on the end of the lace..."
"Not possible?"
"OK, then can I have a pair of black laces, same requirements?"
"No!?"
"Can you give this to me in white?"
"Nope!"
"Do you carry shoelaces at all?"
"Well, we have laces for boots but only in 14 hole length, but you could cut off the ends."
"Uh, I don't think so."

How about a nice pair of leather laces, square cut, that will not go through the holes in my shoes? I really am not seeing this as a solution...

OK, I will try another store - but wait, they don't carry shoelaces.

On to the third store...  OK, I see laces but they are elastic and curly and neon green. It turns out these are for kids who don't know how to tie bows and just leave them dangling.

At this point I am thinking about trying to order online but who thinks paying $5.95 for shipping is reasonable for a $3.00 pair of laces?

 I am getting desperate.

Wait, I see a pair of white laces that may be just the right length. Bingo! And I drive home (30 miles) quite content with my purchase.  Wheeeeeeeee!!!!

 Think this is the end of the Quest? Well, not really because when I get home and start to lace up my sneaks, the second lace frays and breaks as I am threading it through the eyelets!

Ah, made in China.

Why is it that shoelaces are no longer a staple item that will last forever?  Or at least for 5 yrs... Arghhhhhhhh!!!!

Damn The Check Out Line

     I need to grow another head if I am going to continue to go to one of my local grocery stores. They have changed the position of the checker's monitor so that I can't see the items as they are priced. It has become a monumental hassle in an ordinary task. 

     Sounds trivial until you realize that at least every trip to this store, there are items priced incorrectly. No big deal ... until you consider A) the store is collecting revenue that is not theirs , or B) you are being over charged for sale prices, or C) It is a 60 mile round trip to return the item or request a refund. Then it becomes even more of an irritant. 

      The store, who shall remain nameless,has instituted a new policy of timing their cashiers for checking out an order. In order to make their "times" they are running the items as fast as they can down the belt. I am not so old and decrepit that I cannot get the items on the belt but I cannot now seem to get them there fast enough to beat it down to the monitor to make sure the correct prices are being charged. Therein lies the problem. As those who wish not to spend their entire inheritance at the grocery store know; you have to watch the prices being rung.  As well as making sure your coupons are being discounted or reduced price goods are actually being charged off as reduced price. Impossible with the new monitors and the rush of the cashiers. And watch the eyes roll when you ask for a price to be checked or the sale price to be honored. And when they have to go look up a price, well, it can be worth your life.  Because, it's inefficient and their efficiency rates may be dinged!  I am at the point where I now unload the cart at the cashier instead of at the beginning of the belt. 

     Sound like a Senior problem? Well, yes, but I have a 28 year old that is the same. As high has grocery prices have become, it behooves all of us to make sure we get what we are paying for, with as little error as possible. To that end I have been in constant contact with the store manager for a change in this system. I don't mind standing in line a little longer if I can feel that I am not being gouged in the interest of store profit.  But I do mind daring whip lash just to keep track of their sloppy pricing practices. And could I shop at another store? Yes but the other (large)store in town has misleading ads and the smaller store has 2nd rate produce...cheaper but you get what you pay for. Ah, the joys of small town living!

Infuriating Tourist Drivers

      I live in a small town in Northern New Mexico.  I think the"official"  population in the tourist literature is approximately 6,000 full time residents. I think they are overstating this on the high side.  We are an "end destination" resort town which means once you get here, you are HERE. The tourist swell is somewhere around 10- 30,000 folks at a time. Those would be the "official" registered hotel and motel guests. We have many other drifters who are floating through to expand their awareness or disappear into the national forest for a wilderness experience.

      On any given day, there are idiots behind the wheel on the streets of my town. Locals have their own peculiarities but the most distressing drivers are the tourists. Having been a tourist in most major cities in the US, I know how confusing it can be to navigate.  However, here it has become almost a science experience, dodging the Brownian movement particles that have come for the culture.

       Imagine 4 lanes of traffic, divided by a "suicide" lane, for turning. Now, picture the hardy lookie loos, searching for a street sign, looking only to the right or left while navigating the "suicide" lane. Heads up! Nope, let's instead use this for a passing lane. Or how about a third lane, so we can bypass the traffic and go ahead through the light.  Not fast enough for you?  Then let's drive 60 miles an hour down this lane. What could go wrong? And let's not forget about wiping out the bike lane folks when you are turning your 40 ft. RV through the intersection. And yes, even in NM, pedestrians still have the right of way.

     I totally get that we depend on tourist dollars as a mainstay of the local economy.  But really, do you have to run down and/or crash the locals to get where you think you may be going? Slow down, we live at a different pace here.  The churches and the galleries and the Pueblos will still be there even if it takes you an extra 5 minutes to get to them.

     And to the woman in the mini van that tried to take off the front of my car dodging out of a hotel driveway, the profanity was not appreciated when you were in the wrong.  But I will say that the Hawaiian peace sign I bestowed upon you in return certainly felt good.

Denying Pensions to Gay Survivors?

According to a June 3rd article in the the Gay Star Press a gay widower has filed suit against Bayer, for refusing to pay survivors benefits.

The ultimate betrayal by an employer is to refuse to pay out survivor benefits to a spouse. Bayer is doing that even as we speak.This is the reason marriage equality is so important to the gay community. For more years than I can count, gay partners have been denied access to their loved ones in hospital rooms, court testimony, adoption agencies and even funeral homes. Personal decisions regarding end of life choices have been abrogated by family members who have despised and shunned those same people for years. Homes have been lost and personal belongings have been confiscated, simply because the gay partnerships have not been recognized. Now Bayer wants to ignore a legal marriage and the subsequent benefits that come with that contract and deny survivor benefits to the remaining spouse. They are going to court and I sincerely hope that they are taken to the cleaners for this violation.


Marriage is a legal contract, a civil recognition of a legally binding unit of society. This has nothing to do with religious activity; as much as the Conservatives and Fundamentalists would like for you to believe. Marriage equality is a legal right to the same rights that heterosexual couples have enjoyed in this country since the first settlers arrived on our shores. This means that you have the right to jointly own property, enter into binding joint contracts, make joint estate plans, have or adopt children, have joint parental rights, be conservators of estates or be arbitrators of end of life decisions, all as equal partners. And yes, be considered the survivor of such a legal contact.


For Bayer to disregard the DOMA decision, especially when the Military has considered and embraced this ruling is totally wrong. This country needs to stand on the right side of history in providing equal rights for all its citizens. For almost 400 years there have been no rights for gay couples; it is time to change that.

image credit Gay Star News

Take Your Money and Then Discriminate?

This is exactly why anti-discrimination laws are needed.


From:  Daily Kos user Chrislove







East Texas restaurant to gay couple: "We just don't like fags.


    This latest act of discrimination against gays has all the tact of a Sherman tank rolling through your living room. A restaurant in East Texas proudly posts this notice on their front door. I don't think "welcome" means what they think it does. I am all for businesses setting their own standards, but I think you need to be consistent in your policies. 

     That being said, I am furious over the double standard that seems to elude a lot of people as far as PDAs go. I do not mean those hand held computers, I am referencing Public Displays of Affection. Although I was truly not alive when the wheel was invented, I do adhere to most modern standards of behavior. Those standards dictate that what you pursue in the privacy of the home probably shouldn't be on public display. As a gay woman, I have spent 60+ years watching heterosexual couples lick,grope,fondle,kiss and in some places, engage in intercourse in public. And yet, while these 2 kids may have "pushed the envelope" by touching knees or hand holding, they did none of the aforementioned acts. And yet, they were told not to come back to this business. Because "they don't serve fags."

     Now, that is the right of any business, however, if you are going to discriminate, then I suggest you do that before the bill is presented and paid. It is a sad but true axiom that you can't have your cake and eat it , too. If you don't want to serve gays, then man up and put that on your door. I would be happy to avoid your establishment and take my dining dollars (or any other dollars) elsewhere. And please, don't try that tired old phase..."but some of our other customers are gay." Some of your customers black, too? Or Greek? Be open about your bigotry and discrimination.

Mourning the Demise of the Church Lady Hats

     Way back in the dawn of time, when Easter came around, the most marvelous thing for me was not the Egg Hunt or the chocolate rabbits in my basket, it was the plethora of hats I saw in church.  I should have realized then I was a "magpie personality ."  It was all the bright and shiny that took my breath away.  Hats with tulle, hats with feathers (sorry birds), hats with jeweled hatpins holding them on, they were all a trip into fantasy land for me. I angled closer to the best hatted Ladies for a better look.  I wriggled down the bench seat to see how the tulle was attached. I got the "lecture" in the car as soon as we were released from the services.  But I couldn't stop. Hats, hats, hats...glorious hats...that you rarely see anymore.

     Now you see hats in Britain for special occasions but not here. If you want to seek out hats in the United States, then the best place to stalk them is in the local community of black churches.  I thank the black Church Ladies for their continued devotion to "splendiferous" hattery. I thank them for keeping alive an elegant reminder of delicious confections for the head.  I commend them for their fashion sense, verve and joie de vie. They are the last bulwark against the loss of beautiful adornments for the head.

     I mourn the loss of this once essential component of dressing well.  I regret the passing of a tradition that was the avenue for creativity for many folks who were considered artists in the fashion community. Oh, there are still hatters,but their works are rarely considered as everyday staples of fashion. And it disturbs me that there will be less inspiration for the people on the bench with the "magpie personalities," such as me. So, bless the Church Ladies who still wear their hats; long may they reign.